Editor&#8217;s Note: The following is a guest post from Jennifer Tritt.



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As my love and I prepare to downsize and move, we are sorting through our belongings once again. We’ve completed much decluttering over the years as we’ve grown to embrace a minimalist lifestyle. We examined our belongings with discerning eyes and parted with what we no longer used or cherished.



Our living space is functional, open and peaceful. In my experience, decluttering stuff <a href="https://nosidebar.com/mental-clutter/">helps to declutter the mind</a> and open the heart. Having less to do allows us to be. In this fresh space is where we can explore new interests and find new meaning in our lives.



We’ve donated clothing, kitchen items, furniture, art and <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/fewer-books/">books</a>. We’ve invited our college-aged kids to take what they want. We’ve eliminated dumpsters full of unnecessary paperwork and sorted through mementos and keepsakes, holding on to the most precious.



Now we are looking at furniture and collectibles. We’re giving family furniture that won’t fit into our new home to family members who’ve expressed interest. We are planning a garage sale and attempting to sell some items on eBay.



I am doing my best not to push and am thrilled that he is ready to part with some sports memorabilia and work-related mementos, even though he’s holding on to the comic books and Hot Wheels for now. He may later decide that he’s ready to part with them. This is a personal process and there is no need to rush decisions.



<h2>The Longaberger Principle</h2>



Last night I coined the phrase, “the Longaberger lesson,” when we discovered, with shock, that some items he thought would be in great demand, failed to garner any bids on eBay. I had a similar experience, early in my decluttering, when I decided to let go of my once treasured Longaberger baskets.



I found an auction house that was about to host a Longaberger auction and anticipated making big bucks. The amount of money that I made on my collection would have paid for one basket during the heyday of my collecting.



This experience and resulting deflated feeling got me thinking. Why do we collect? How do we arrive at the decision to part with our collections? What is the true value of a collection?



I collected baskets, because I thought they were beautiful, many of them were useful, I enjoyed comparing collections and hosting parties with girlfriends, and loved seeking the sense of completion that finalizing a collection could bring. I spent a significant amount of money and managed to rationalize each purchase.



I believed my collection would increase in value, but never considered the monetary value would decrease. I parted with the baskets because they reminded me of a different time in my life and I no longer found them useful. I have eliminated other collections that were simply taking up space: collectible plates, jewelry, dishes and books—and it&#8217;s been freeing.



<h2>How to Part with Collectibles</h2>



Here are a few thoughts on how to approach parting with a collection:



1. Keep a piece.



When I sold my baskets, I kept a few that I use. If you have a collection in storage, for example, Hot Wheels, you could create a small display of your favorites that you actually enjoy seeing as you pass by, and part with the rest.



2. Seek collectors.



Find your kindred spirits! There are many ways to sell your collection: online, at a garage sale, or through an auction house or flea market. See any money you make as a bonus as you part with your collection. Even if the collection has decreased in monetary value, the sentimental value may be equally important to the new owner.



3. Embrace change and release guilt.



Our interests and preferences change over time. We grow. We expand our interests, our values shift and our tastes changes. Remember the joy you felt while collecting, and <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/dont-feel-guilty/">release the guilt you may attach</a> to the dollars you spent and will not be able to recover.



My collection was packed and stored for a while, but when I saw the boxes, I felt bad. I was happy to free the space and release the energy. I also released the guilt for the money I had invested.



4. Define value more broadly.



Value extends beyond the price you can fetch for an item or a collection. What you once loved, but wish to release, someone else may love and treasure. Focus on the fun you had amassing your collection, and move on to pursuing your new interests. <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/10-tips-to-start-living-in-the-present/">Live in the present</a>!



5. Find joy in giving.



Seek friends or other folks who would appreciate your collection. Enjoy watching the joy on their faces when they receive. <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/sell-or-donate/">Consider donating</a> or selling if you cannot find a friend or acquaintance who is interested.



I do believe that minimalists can be collectors. Although I’ve shifted <a href="https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/294163">my priority from things to experiences</a>, I continue to collect refrigerator magnets from my travels. Looking at them makes me smile as I think about the associated visit.



***



Jennifer Tritt is an academic counselor at a community college, has recently adopted a minimalist lifestyle, and is passionate about sharing her experiences. 




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Declutter Your Collectibles with the Longaberger Principle

Note: This is a guest post from Cheryl Smith of <a class="" href="http://www.biblicalminimalism.com/">Biblical Minimalism</a>.



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I was raised in a household with an income that fell below the poverty line. Dad’s upbringing was in a home with an even lower income. He only achieved an 8th-grade education, and because of that, he had to be one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Mom was a dedicated stay-at-home wife and mother.



We had only one vehicle, so Mom and I usually drove Dad to and from work. One of the images engraved most indelibly in my mind is Dad walking toward our car, his clothes soaked with sweat from an honest-to-goodness hard day’s work. On payday, his wages seemed so meager and unequal to the amount of himself he poured into earning them.



Seeing Mom and Dad constantly worry about making ends meet no matter how hard Dad tried to provide for us lit a fire of dogged determination inside of me. I made up my mind that when I grew up, I would do anything I had to do to rise above such intense struggle to survive, even if that meant living above my means and financing everything I owned. That strong-willed sense of resolve to avoid “poverty” was alive and well when I met the man of my dreams, fell in love, and got married at the age of 21.



For the first several years of our marriage, my husband and I successfully accumulated the stuff that makes up the American dream. We both worked hard to meet the demands and expectations of what that “dream” should look like—home ownership, two jobs, two cars, lots of physical possessions, and a lavish amount of available credit to make it all come true. All along, it seemed so important to me to have the things I thought my parents “lacked.”



Then, while we weren’t looking, those long days turned into short years, and life had progressed to middle age. Dad, who had always been strong and stout and the hardest worker I ever knew, passed away long before his time. I watched as the ensuing sadness of widowhood consumed Mom’s heart and life. And then, after nearly twelve years of profound loneliness and health issues, she, too, passed away.



Standing beside both of my parents’ bedsides as their beyond-valuable, earthly lives came to an end, knowing they would no longer be part of my everyday life and feeling that sense of finality forced me to face my own mortality and was the most sobering thing I have ever experienced.



Suddenly, the fact that my parents lived their entire lives being “poor” didn’t seem so important. It didn’t seem so sad that they owned very little because they were not able to take one single thing with them from earth to Heaven anyway. They left this world just like they entered it. They brought nothing into it, and they carried nothing out. As their final breaths were breathed and their last feeble good-byes were spoken, the fact that they were poor was the farthest thing from our minds and meant nothing.



What did matter and what firmly remained was the strong foundation of faith they had so thoughtfully laid and upon which they had taught me to build, the value of hard work they had instilled in me, and the deep bond of love that even death will never be able to sever.



After Mom died, it took us only one day to go through her tiny apartment and pack up her, and what was left of Dad’s, belongings. There was no cause for beneficiary rivalry or squabbling over their possessions because living a life of necessitated minimalism removed that prospect. At that point, the fact that Mom and Dad were poor brought a great sense of relief.



Not long after Mom passed away, my little family and I felt an impassioned call toward a simple, minimal life. We sold what we had to pay what we owed, and with reckless abandon, gratefully released the “American dream” and all it demanded of us. We are now three years into this amazing adventure, 100% <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/33-proven-ways-to-reduce-personal-debt/">debt-free</a> and have never been happier or more at peace.



The nuggets of wisdom I gleaned from being raised in a low-income family are countless, and I wouldn’t trade those life lessons for anything. 



Here are ten of them.



1. People are worth immeasurably more than things.



2. Teaching your children how to live is much more important than anything money can buy.



3. It’s amazing how little it takes to survive if you learn to “make do” and improvise.



4. You don’t have to own something to love and enjoy it.



5. Experiences with the ones you love create the most precious memories, and most of the time cost nothing. Memories are lightweight, take up zero space, cannot be stolen, do not have to be maintained, and never cause worry. To invest in them is infinitely wiser than accumulating stuff.



6. It is smart to rent a home if “ownership” requires going into debt and living above your means.



7. Holding a clear title to one car is wiser than incurring debt to have two.



8. Grieving loved ones should not be laden with the added burden of dealing with excess, left-behind possessions.



9. Working hard never hurt anyone. In fact, there are few things more gratifying than the completion of a hard day’s work.



10. When you die, you take nothing from earth with you, and the main thing you should leave behind is the <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/inheritance/">legacy</a> of a life well-loved.



The other day, it occurred to me that we are, by choice, living a life that looks very similar to the life my parents lived, by necessity. It seems that I have come full circle in my way of thinking, and those childhood lessons were not lost after all. I finally fully appreciate their wisdom for what it’s truly worth.



***



Cheryl Smith blogs at <a class="" href="http://www.biblicalminimalism.com/">Biblical Minimalism</a>. Her family sold their home, released 90% of their physical possessions, got out of debt, and now share their story and their Christian faith on their blog. Her book, <a class="" href="https://amzn.to/3e69Rze">Biblical Minimalism</a>, is now available. In it, she approaches minimalism from a Biblical perspective. 
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What Growing Up “Poor” Taught Me About Minimalism

Editor&#8217;s Note. This is a guest post from Angel Chernoff of <a href="https://www.marcandangel.com/">Marc &amp; Angel Hack Life</a>.



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As human beings, we all have an idea in our heads about how things are supposed to be, and sadly this is what often messes our relationships up the most. We all get frustrated when things don’t play out the way we expect them to, and people don’t behave like they’re “supposed” to. We expect our spouses and children to act a certain way, our friends to be kind and agreeable, strangers to be less difficult, and so on and so forth.



And when reality hits us, and everyone seems to be doing the opposite of what we want them to do, we overreact—anger, frustration, stress, arguments, tears, etc.



So what can we do about this?



<h3>Breathe&nbsp;.&nbsp;.&nbsp;.</h3>



You can’t control how other people behave. You can’t control everything that happens to you. What you can control is how you respond to it all. In your response is your power.



When you feel like your lid is about to blow, take a long, deep breath. Deep breathing releases tension, calms down our fight-or-flight reactions, and allows us to quiet our anxious nerves so that we choose more considerate and constructive responses, no matter the situation.



So, for example, do your best to inhale and exhale the next time another driver cuts you off in traffic. In a recent poll we hosted with 1,200 people, overreacting while fighting traffic was the most commonly cited reason for overreacting on a daily basis. Just imagine if all the drivers on the road took deep breaths before making nasty hand gestures or screaming obscenities at others.



There’s no doubt that it can drive us crazy when we don’t get what we expect from people, especially when they are being rude and difficult. But trying to change the unchangeable, wanting others to be exactly the way we want them to be, just doesn’t work. The alternative, though, is unthinkable to most of us: to breathe, to let go, to lead by example, and to accept people even when they irritate us.



Here’s the way of being that we cultivate and advocate:



<ul><li>Breathe deeply and often.</li><li>Remind ourselves that we can’t control other people.</li><li>Remind ourselves that other people can handle their lives however they choose.</li><li>Don’t take their behavior personally.</li><li>See the good in them.</li><li>Let go of the ideals and expectations we have about others that cause unnecessary frustration, arguments, and bouts of anger.</li><li>Remember that when others are being difficult, they are often going through a difficult time we know nothing about. And give them empathy, love, and space.</li></ul>



Being this way takes practice, but it’s worth it. It makes us less frustrated, it helps us to be more mindful, it improves our relationships, it lowers our stress, and it allows us to make the world a slightly more peaceful place to be. We hope you will join us.



<h3>Smart Ways to Remain Calm</h3>



If you’re ready to feel more peace and less inner angst, here are some ways we’ve learned to remain calm and centered, even when those around us can’t seem to contain themselves. These principles reinforce the bullet points above, and when you consistently practice these principles, the world within you and around you becomes a lot easier to cope with.



Let’s practice, together&nbsp;.&nbsp;.&nbsp;.



1. Get comfortable with pausing.



Don’t imagine the worst when you encounter a little drama. When someone is acting irrationally, don’t join them by rushing to make a negative judgment call. Instead, pause. Take a deep breath&nbsp;.&nbsp;.&nbsp;.



Sometimes good people behave poorly under stress. Don’t you? When you pause, it gives you space to collect your thoughts and it also allows the other person the space to take a deep breath with you. In most cases, that extra time and space is all we need.



2. Respect people’s differences.



Learn to respect the opinions of others. Just because someone does it differently doesn’t make it wrong. There are many roads to what’s right in this world. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.



So choose your battles wisely. And just agree to disagree sometimes.



It is absolutely possible to connect with, and even appreciate the company of, someone you don’t completely agree with. When you make a commitment to remain neutral on topics that don’t matter that much, or speak respectfully about your disagreements, both parties can remain calm and move forward, pleasantly.



3. Be compassionate.



In the busyness of today’s world, people tend to be worried, fearful, hurting, and distracted about everything. The word “compassion” means “to suffer with.” When you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes, you give them the space to regroup, without putting any extra pressure on them.



Remember, we never know what’s really going on in someone’s life. When you interact with others in stressful environments, set an intention to be supportive by leaving the expectations, judgments, and demands at the door.



4. Extend generosity and grace.



Everyone gets upset and loses their temper sometimes. Remind yourself that we are all more alike than we are different. When you catch yourself passing judgment, add “just like me sometimes” to the end of a sentence. For example:



<ul><li>That person is grouchy, just like me sometimes.</li><li>He is so darn impatient, just like me sometimes.</li><li>She is being rude, just like me sometimes.</li></ul>



Choose to let things&nbsp;go. Let others off the hook. Take the high road today.



5. Don’t take people’s behavior personally.



If you take everything personally, you will be offended for the rest of your life. And there’s no reason for it. You may not be able to control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Make that decision for yourself today.



Let it go! Seriously, there is a huge amount of freedom that comes when you detach from other people’s beliefs and behaviors. The way people treat you is their problem; how you react is yours.



Everyone behaves the way they behave based on how they feel inside. Some people never learn how to effectively cope with their stressful emotions. When someone is acting obnoxious, it’s vital that you remain calm, no matter what. Don’t allow other people to knock you off your center.



Do what it takes to remain calm and address the situation from the inside out. That’s where your greatest power lies.



6. Talk less and learn to appreciate silence.



Don’t fall into an unnecessary argument just because you feel uncomfortable in silence. Don’t say things you’ll regret five minutes later just to fill your eardrums with noise. Anger and frustration begin internally. You have the capacity to choose your response to momentary discomfort. Inhale. Exhale. A moment of silence in a moment of anger can save you from a hundred moments of regret.



7. Create a morning ritual that starts your day off right.



Don’t rush into your day by checking your phone or email. Don’t put yourself in a stressful state of mind that makes you incapable of dealing positively with other people’s negativity. Create time and space for a morning ritual that’s focused and peaceful.



Here’s part of my morning ritual: I take ten deep breaths before getting out of bed. Then, I stand up and stretch, followed by ten minutes of meditation.



I challenge you to try this—it has been life-changing for me—but start small, with just three deep breaths and three minutes of meditation a day. Do this for thirty days. After thirty days, if this daily ritual becomes easy, add another two breaths and another two minutes to your ritual. When you begin a day mindfully, you lay the foundation for your day to be calm and centered, regardless of what’s going on around you.



8. Cope using healthy choices and alternatives.



When we face stressful situations, we often calm or soothe ourselves with unhealthy choices—drinking alcohol, eating sugary snacks, smoking, etc. It’s easy to respond to anger with anger and unhealthy distractions.



Notice how you cope with stress. Replace bad coping habits with healthy coping habits. Take a walk in a green space. Make a cup of tea and sit quietly with your thoughts. Listen to some pleasant music. Write in your journal. Talk it out with a close friend. Healthy coping habits make happy people.



9. Remind yourself of what’s right, and create more of it in the world.



Keeping the positive in mind helps you move beyond the negativity around you.



At the end of the day, reflect on your small daily wins and all the little things that are going well. Count three small events on your fingers that happened during the day that you’re undoubtedly grateful for. For example:



<ul><li>My family and I made it home safely from work and school today.</li><li>My spouse and I shared a laugh.</li><li>We have everything we need to feel safe and cared for.</li></ul>



And pay it forward when you get a chance. Let your positivity empower you to think kindly of others, speak kindly to others, and do kind things for others. Kindness always makes a difference. Create the outcomes others might be grateful for at the end of their day. Be a bigger part of what’s right in this world.



The most fundamental aggression to ourselves and others—the most fundamental harm we can do to human nature as a whole—is to remain ignorant by not having the awareness and the courage to look at ourselves and others honestly and gently.



***



Angel (and Marc) Chernoff are New York Times-bestselling authors and the creators of <a href="http://www.marcandangel.com/">Marc &amp; Angel Hack Life</a>, which was recognized by Forbes as “one of the most popular personal development blogs” and the authors of the brand-new book, <a href="https://amzn.to/31MBede">1,000 Little Habits of Happy, Successful Relationships</a>. Through their writing, coaching, course and annual live events (where I&#8217;ve spoken twice), they’ve spent the past decade sharing proven strategies for getting unstuck in order to find lasting happiness and success.
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9 Ways to Remain Calm When Others Are Out of Control

Note: This is a guest post from Kara Stevens of <a href="https://www.thefrugalfeminista.com">The Frugal Feminista</a>.



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I was raised by a strong, no-nonsense woman that immigrated from Antigua to make a way for her two children in the busy yet lonely streets of New York City. 



My mom never expected to be a single mother in a strange land, but that was her lot when my dad up and left us, making her the chief financial caregiver and the financial breadwinner in one fell swoop.



It also made her depressed, though she never admitted it. It also made her fearful and distrusting of the world, especially a world where an abundance of anything flowed, notably,&nbsp;love or money.&nbsp;



As her only daughter and&nbsp;youngest child, she taught me that life wasn’t about taking chances, pressing your luck, or living by faith. None of that foolishness. 



If you couldn’t make it or hold it, or if it wasn’t guaranteed, then you weren’t to waste your time with dreams or the pursuit of joy or happiness. There was no room for error and life was about the ability to endure (not overcome). There was no space for second chances.&nbsp;



This scarcity worldview made me a compulsive overachiever (I currently hold three degrees from some of the most prestigious universities in this country). And just like my mom, I soon became unwilling to open myself to opportunities that required too much of an investment of the heart or the wallet.



To ensure that I could control my surroundings, I saved all of the money that I could when I started working. And if I couldn’t find more to save, I would find another job just so I could hold on to more. 



My measure of self-worth soon became synonymous with how much sacrifice and deprivation I could endure. It also became aligned with how much money I had in my account and didn’t touch.



To ensure that no one could get close to me (or I to them), I kept things casual and at a distance with friends and potential lovers, though a part of me craved connection and intimacy.



The irony about my decision to embrace minimalism, was that I was at the height of living on the margins of my life. I had grown accustomed to an ethos of withholding, denying,&nbsp;and delaying fun, connection, and material from my life for the sake of financial security, which I had objectively obtained years before.



Learning to live without didn’t necessarily mean that I knew how to live with less. What I mean by this is that minimalism asks you to be present with the real you. It asks you to curate a life that is marked by meaning and value, which can only come from a deep understanding of your personal desires and honoring them. 



From the outside, it would seem that I was a minimalist, when the truth was that I was one step away from being a miser.



Minimalism helped me bust my world and life wide open by giving me a front seat to a world of truth, authenticity, and abundance—the exact opposite of the world in which was born&nbsp;into and inhabited.



When I started to embrace minimalism, I got rid of items that I purchased solely because they were on sale or acquired them because they were free and invested in the few things that I really wanted. 



I transformed my living (and by extension my emotional) spaces&nbsp;with beauty, expression, and possibility.



Minimalism helped me focus on the quality of my relationships and how I wanted to develop deeper, lasting relationships with those that I cared for. It helped me learn to make time to share energy, journeys, stories, and love. I started calling my friends more, opening up about my dreams and challenges, planning get-togethers, sharing my talents and gifts.&nbsp;



Minimalism introduced me to a level of spirituality that I wasn’t expecting. It guided me to a bigger purpose in life; beyond working and hoarding money to building a life that revolved around creating bonds to principles and people that improve the world, offer hope, and create positive change.



Minimalism has made life robust, hearty, and satisfying. 



It’s made life worth living.



***



Kara Stevens is a speaker, author, and&nbsp;founder of <a href="https://www.thefrugalfeminista.com">The Frugal Feminista</a>, a financial wellness platform committed to helping women heal their relationship with money so they experience endless joy and possibility. You can also find her book, <a href="https://amzn.to/3fvXWOw">Heal Your Relationship with Money, here</a>.
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How Minimalism Saved My Life

Note: This is a guest post from Denaye Barahona of&nbsp;<a href="https://www.simplefamilies.com/">Simple Families</a>.



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When I was pregnant with my first child, I had big ideas. I wanted to give my children the world. Like most new parents, I had the best of intentions.



Every generation wants to give their children more than they had themselves. My intention was no different—I wanted to give my children more. More love. More protection. More opportunities. More toys.



More, more, more.



This desire for more was rooted in love.



After I had children and they began to grow, there was a shift. This desire for more became rooted in fear.



If I didn’t play with them enough, would they be happy? If I didn’t stand at least two feet from them at all times on the playground, would they fall? If I didn’t land a spot in a top preschool, would their education be impacted?



In the words of <a href="http://designformankind.com/">Erin Loechner</a>, “No one ever told me how much fear is hidden in love.”



All this fear, camouflaged as love, quickly started to take a toll on me. Trying to be everything and do everything for my children left me depleted.



My desire to give my children more left me feeling less.



Less energy. Less joy. Less calm.



Then I found Minimalism.



Minimalism is more than just getting rid of all your stuff (although <a href="http://www.simplefamilies.com/why-i-got-rid-of-my-wardrobe-capsule-small-wardrobe/">I am on that bandwagon too</a>). It’s about filtering out the noise to focus your energy on what&#8217;s important.



Families of today have noisy lives. I know this in my personal life, but also in my professional life. I have a Ph.D. in Child Development with a specialty in Family Wellness. I work with families to find calm amongst the noise.



In families, the calm lies in balancing the needs of each individual while simultaneously tightening the strings that hold them all together.



Sounds tricky, right?



<h2>How to Parent Like a Minimalist</h2>



Fortunately minimalism has a secret formula for parents: <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/less-is-more/">Less is More</a>. Here are some lessons I’ve learned on my journey toward a simpler family life:



1. Hover less and your children will live more.



We spend so much time protecting our children, we forget to let them live. When we hover over them and perseverate over safety, our fears can undermine a child’s confidence. These fears rob them of their independence. Instead of hovering, let’s instill a sense of responsibility and natural curiosity for the world.



Allow your children to live life to the fullest. Even if that means climbing to the top of the jungle gym without a spotter.



2. Entertain less and your children will innovate more.



In many ways, Pinterest is a trap. The abundance of art, craft, and activity ideas that abound leave us feeling as though we need to do more to entertain our kids. Wouldn’t it be easy if we could just flip a switch and provide unlimited entertainment for our kids?



Oh wait, we can. We can <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/screen-time-for-kids/">limit screen time for our kids</a>.



When we provide endless varieties of entertainment for our children, we leave them with very little opportunity to create and explore new ideas on their own.



So hear me out: <a href="http://www.simplefamilies.com/why-i-dont-do-pinterest-worthy-activities-with-my-kids/">Follow my lead and skip the Pinterest activities</a>. Then cut back on the screen time. Let kids be bored. Give them space. The innovation that results will astound you.



3. Schedule less and your children will rest more.



As humans, we need to rest our bodies and minds. This is particularly true of small bodies that are growing and maturing rapidly. Research show us that <a href="http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2000/12/anxiety.aspx">childhood anxiety is a rising epidemic</a> in this generation. A child who grows up with anxiety is significantly more likely to be plagued with mental health challenges throughout their adult years.



Do you know what our children need? Rest.



Do you know what we need? Rest.



Stop making rest a luxury—make rest a priority. The mental and physical health of your family depends on it.



4. Referee less and your children will problem solve more.



As parents, we wear many hats. One hat we need to hang up is that of the referee. Parents have the tendency to jump in and solve any disputes and challenges that children come across. It’s easier to be the referee than watch two kids awkwardly settle their own disagreement. It’s easier to be jump in and help, than wait ten minutes for a kid to fumble through shoe tying.



After you hang up that hat, get comfortable sitting on the sidelines in silence. Kids need a lot of practice to learn how to problem solve—so let’s give them many chances to do it for themselves.



5. Buy less and your children will seek more.



Research shows that clutter is associated with higher levels of stress in families. Have you yelled at your kids to clean up their rooms recently? If your home has less inside, it is easier to clean up. It is easier to take good care of fewer things.



You know what doesn’t have a long-term impact on a child happiness? The latest hit toy. Buy your children less, and as a result, they will be able to better filter out the noise and focus on the important things.



Studies tell us that <a href="http://www.parents.com/health/parents-news-now/family-vacations-have-long-lasting-impact-on-kids-happiness/">family vacations and togetherness</a> have a long term impact on a child’s happiness. Let’s teach our children to value “stuff” less and experiences more.



What are you doing less of to help your kids get more out of life?



***



Denaye Barahona Ph.D. is a mother of two and the founder of <a href="http://simplefamilies.com/">Simple Families</a>, a podcast and community for families interested in minimalism with kids, family wellness, and positive parenting. Denaye has a doctorate in child development and over a decade of experience in coaching parents to more harmonious lives with children.
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How to Parent Like a Minimalist

Note: This is a guest post from Lisa Avellan of <a href="http://simpleandsoul.com">Simple and Soul</a>.



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As minimalists, we strive for less stuff to experience more life. We learn how to detach from our possessions, <a href="https://nosidebar.com/minimize-digital-distractions/">limit technology</a>, set boundaries with our commitments, and <a href="https://nosidebar.com/minimalism-budget/">manage our finances</a> with more intention.



Our schedules get pared down to the most important appointments, we open our calendars <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/more-family/">for family time</a>, meeting with a friend, reading, or <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/minimalism-purpose/">pursing a passion</a>. Simplicity becomes our goal. 



We learn to ask ourselves important questions before adding any item to our life:



<ul><li>“How can this make my life easier?”</li><li>“Will this cause more freedom or hold me back?”</li></ul>



Simplicity takes more intention than renting a storage unit, so we learn to value the weight of every decision. The value of an item or experience becomes more than a price tag or a great story to tell at a cocktail party. Minimalism is not for the half-hearted.



Minimalism is a journey of heart and soul.



It’s a deep dive into the core of what we believe about who we are, where we find value, our purpose, and our passion. These are incredibly personal and difficult mountains to climb. A compass and hatchet are necessary tools to make the journey.



This matter of the heart requires that we take great care to cut the nonessentials, and cultivate the things we should never minimize. It’s how we <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/dream-bigger/">maximize the benefits of minimalism</a>.



Here are nine things that should never fall victim to our minimalist pursuit:



1. Relationships



We should never commit so intently to this outlier way of life that we alienate our family, faithful friends, or the potential new positive relationships. There may be a time when minimizing <a href="https://www.marcandangel.com/2014/07/30/10-types-of-toxic-relationships-mentally-strong-people-avoid/">harmful or unhealthy relationships</a> is appropriate, however minimalism isn’t about living a reclusive or withdrawn existence. 



We minimize to un-clutter our lives from that which robs our time and energy from investing in the most important people in our lives.



2. Community



Living with less should never mean less community. In fact, living with less opens our lives to more community and opportunity to live alongside others, minimalist or not. Our community, those outside our immediate family but who share in our activities around home, school, work, church, or neighborhood, should benefit from our life of less. 



The amount of time we gain, the items that can be reused or repurposed by someone in need, and the hospitality we offer in less crowded homes are practical ways to intentionally live in community.



3. Gratitude



I believe that the greatest expression of gratitude is minimalism. When one is truly grateful for what matters most, no amount of possessions could change that contentment. A room full of gadgets and toys or forgotten impulse purchases steals our gratitude by complicating our lives. 



To live a life of gratitude, we recognize that the essentials are enough and we can experience how they enhance our existence. Gratitude isn’t being thankful for what you have; <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/gratitude-discipline/">it&#8217;s believing what you have is enough.</a>



4. Empathy



We don’t like to admit it, but when we have a strong belief about the way we live, sometimes we minimize our empathy for those who live differently. Becoming minimalist is never a destination; it’s a journey of minimizing the outside influences. But non-minimalists are not outsiders, they are people. They are potential inspiring mentors, faithful leaders, guides, and peacemakers. 



The way we treat others who struggle with the burden of stuff will either maximize their value to us or minimize our value to them. Choose wisely.



5. Generosity



Minimalism is not an excuse to not be generous. It is the greatest excuse to be more generous. Ridding our lives of excess offers the obvious opportunity to <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/sell-or-donate/">donate or re-home our possessions</a> that can be useful to someone. 



But there are other not so obvious reasons we should never minimize generosity: we create more space to offer our home, time, meals, service, and gifts to others. Our unburdened schedules allow more investments in relationships, more family building, and more financial resources. Our minds are free of stressors so we can create more and share more of our talents. Need less, <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/more-generosity/">give more</a>.



6. Education



I spoke with a middle aged woman recently who is, in her words, pursuing a “useless” graduate degree. I felt sad that she perceived her educational pursuit was for nothing. Education in any form, when applied, enriches our lives to greater understanding, empathy, and action. 



To minimize our education is to minimize our potential to change the world. For any educational investment, we gain, at the very least, a deepened capacity to think and to relate to the world bustling around us.



7. Dreams



Our passions and dreams often end up on the chopping block when we are overwhelmed with crammed calendars and suffocated by our stuff. Minimalism should never stifle the life-giving joys in our life. When we release our attachment to stuff and busyness, we have more time and energy to pursue and participate in our passions. 



If we ever feel the need to minimize the very thing that makes us come alive, we’ve lost sight of who we are. Minimalism creates space for the development of our dreams and passions and we then realize the burden our stuff has over us.



8. Forgiveness



If you’ve ever been in any kind of relationship that has lasted more than a few days, you know that forgiveness is part of life. If we minimize our capacity to forgive, we can never hope to grow or change. Significant relationship demands repentance and forgiveness. 



Ruth Bell Graham said, “Marriage is a union of two good forgivers.” I believe that’s true of any relationship. Minimizing <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/the-life-freeing-nature-of-forgiveness/">the value of forgiveness</a> will kill our capacity for genuine connection.



9. Joy



The absence of joy is often caused by our inaccurate source of value. The more we buy the less happy we are. It may seem depressing to live a life with less, but that’s only because we haven’t freed ourselves from the chains of believing our value comes from what we own. 



Less stuff is more joy. To <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/compare-less/">free ourselves from comparisons</a> and the joy-killing value system of a broken world, the answer lies in the freedom of minimalism.



How are you maximizing the benefits of minimalism?



—



Lisa Avellan writes at&nbsp;<a href="http://simpleandsoul.com">Simple &amp; Soul</a>, helping you simplify life so you can uncover your soul and live joyfully just as you are. You can find her on&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/simpleandsoul">Facebook</a>&nbsp;and&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/simpleandsoul/">Instagram</a>&nbsp;for more simple living inspiration.
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9 Things We Should Never Minimize

Note: This is a guest post from Colleen Mariotti of <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://livology.com/" target="_blank">Livology</a>. 



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“Your life will be simplified when you choose inaction when no action is required and choose action when action is required.” —M.M. Ildan



We are what you might call extremist when it comes to minimalism. In 2013, my husband and I sold all our belongings, packed one carry-on bag each, and set out to wander the world with our three young children.



As we traveled, we learned so much from other countries about <a href="https://livology.com/go-ahead-sweat-the-small-stuff/">simplifying our material possessions</a> to find a richness never before unearthed. 



In Italy, we prepared and feasted on seasonal meals, consisting of only a few fresh ingredients. 



While teaching English at an ashram orphanage in Indonesia, we participated in a meditative chant and yogic practice at sunrise and sunset each day, our toes digging into the dirt floor calling us to be present and give thanks. 



While housesitting at an organic farm in New Zealand, we were profoundly reconnected to nature, collapsing in our beds after long, hot days of honest work under the blazing sun of the Southern Hemisphere. 



Year after year, <a href="https://livology.com/traveling-lightly/">as we moved through the world freely,</a> with little more than the clothes on our backs, we thought we had this minimalism thing figured out. 



Then, we came home…



After nearly six years as a nomadic family of five living in more than 30 countries, we returned to the USA with three teenagers and only the belongings we had in our bags. 



Without forks, plates, or blankets, we dove head-first into setting up this American life determined not to fall back into old consumer patterns. It was hard. It is hard. 



The United States of America is a country brimming with convenience, opportunity, and stuff! Wading through it, after being gone for so long renewed our commitment to living a minimalist life. However, without the comfort of our carry-on limitations to keep things simple, the challenge was often overwhelming. 



With a house, rooms to fill, and a growing family, we learned a few things about minimalism in America that we hope may resonate with others.



<h3 id="gmail-m_2085897553867505274gmail-block-015be595-5abe-4bc0-be67-5be374c788d6">Why Minimalism in America is Hard</h3>



<h4 id="gmail-m_2085897553867505274gmail-block-ef12bda0-5c71-4581-8e9d-2799ca6e9865">Endless options.&nbsp;</h4>



It is true the USA offers greater convenience than any other country we have lived, but convenience is often overrated. 



It is said that the average adult makes 35,000 remotely conscious decisions daily. A <a href="https://news.cornell.edu/stories/2006/12/mindless-autopilot-drives-people-underestimate-food-decisions">Cornell University study</a> estimated we make 221 decisions each day regarding food alone! 



Before our travels, we walked through superstores, without lists, getting some of what we needed and much of what we did not. The first time we entered a supermarket after our return in 2018, we had to leave as most of us started hyperventilating. My son asked why the cereal boxes were so big and my daughter came back from a hunt for socks, saying there were at least 100 from which to choose. 



Options can be paralyzing but even when they are not, adding options means we have to make even more decisions. It’s hard.



<h4 id="gmail-m_2085897553867505274gmail-block-c59c33e0-1089-4203-a220-05cdcb5a8fef">The promise of an escape.&nbsp;</h4>



Shopping in the US offers an escape from the heightened levels of stress Americans experience in their lives compared to many of our global neighbors. 



In a Gallup Annual Survey of Global Emotions, <a href="https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/americans-are-some-most-stressed-out-people-world-reporting-negative-emotions-highest-rates-decade-180972047/">American stress levels were significantly higher</a> than the world average of 35%. Shopping can give us a false sense of control and many people have a dopamine response to shopping during the anticipation of purchasing the shiny new toy. 



The high is typically gone by the time we check out, which is why it becomes a bit of an addiction. Online shopping during this “stay at home” era has shown similar consumer patterns. It is not an escape with any lasting benefits. It’s hard.



<h4 id="gmail-m_2085897553867505274gmail-block-9e37189a-23fd-42dd-9546-61373c624a6f">State of the art marketing. </h4>



Carl Sagan wrote, “One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken.” 



This was perhaps the biggest shock returning to the USA. Targeted savvy marketing is everywhere. It is in our social media feeds, on our phone notifications, and on our car GPS screens. It is very challenging to prevent the advertisers&#8217; messaging from reaching us wherever we are in our day. It is easy to become bamboozled. 



In many of the countries we lived in, phone connectivity and WIFI were sporadic at best. Often, we were the only people using a handheld device and many of the homes we lived in, from villas in Tuscany to straw-roofed huts in South East Asia, were not wired for much of anything.&nbsp;Connectivity in the USA is one of the greatest hurdles when it comes to minimalism. It’s hard.



<h3 id="gmail-m_2085897553867505274gmail-block-93a59fb5-8e06-4b4d-965a-a54edb2db171">Four Strategies to Practice Becoming Minimalist in America</h3>



<h4 id="gmail-m_2085897553867505274gmail-block-53cb5401-3375-4564-b1ee-91f77097d7ec">1. Opt outside.&nbsp;</h4>



We learned the Norwegian concept of&nbsp;<a href="https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20171211-friluftsliv-the-nordic-concept-of-getting-outdoors">friluftslv</a>&nbsp;while living in Scandinavia. It loosely means get outside, even if it is cold and dark. No excuses. 



What we loved about the Scandinavian commitment to spending time outdoors is that it doesn’t apply just to physical activity. We often saw neighbors bundled up in blanketed layers having tea outdoors together. Any time in the natural world will suffice in a wide range of contexts and climates. 



When we get outside we are less likely to be on our devices and it is even better if we can get far enough into nature to disconnect completely. It’s possible.



<h4 id="gmail-m_2085897553867505274gmail-block-202da934-c355-4184-943f-b18cb366dd25">2. Log on with purpose.&nbsp;</h4>



Use the very technology that fills your feed with advertisements to find new ways to acquire what you are looking to buy. 



Neighborhood sites and social media groups are incredibly powerful when we ask for things we need and/or give things away to neighbors. Repurposing is cool. It connects us with items that have a story to tell from the people with whom we give and receive them, strengthening our ties in our community. 



As we all know, there is no such thing as throwing something away. Everything we toss goes somewhere so it is our calling to consume responsibly. It’s possible.



<h4 id="gmail-m_2085897553867505274gmail-block-fc252c47-9de4-4533-a8b9-98e5c3928bba">3. Focus.&nbsp;</h4>



Always write a list and stick to it. 



What is your purpose for shopping on any given day? Identify your purpose before you go. If you can’t, you may want to use your time for something else. 



Impulse shopping is dangerous. Those $10 jeans are not as inexpensive as they appear. We have traveled to many of the developing countries where much of the “fast-fashion” in the USA is produced and the price is much higher than the ticketed item. The environmental destruction, violation of labor laws, and lack of international standards for safe manufacturing practices mean as consumers, we need to vote with our wallets. 



American consumer supply and demand drives the destruction in these developing countries, often behind closed doors.&nbsp;We need to do our homework, make our lists, and stay on track. It’s possible.



<h4 id="gmail-m_2085897553867505274gmail-block-ff604532-9123-4798-b1c1-173b22c46da0">4. Flow.</h4>



When people ask us about giving things away versus holding on to them, our answer is always the same. It is about the flow. 



It is not about the stuff, but about creating a home by surrounding ourselves with select things we love. Our definition of home is not static, even if we stay in one place, so our stuff needs to keep moving too or there is a sense of misalignment. 



Keep it flowing, even if it is only a small portion of what you own, and you will see the momentum start to pick up, no matter where you are on your minimalism journey. It’s possible.



The quote at the beginning of this blog is plastered onto the inside of our doors at home. We read it every time we prepare to walk out into the world. Since the pandemic, it is also posted on internal doors where computers loom and consumption is possible.&nbsp;



When action is not necessary, and we don’t need to run errands&nbsp;but we go anyway, we are giving up precious moments we will never again have in our experience; time that could have been spent in ways that restore us through connection to ourselves and others.



Conversely,&nbsp;when we act when action is necessary, it is inspired action, and our lives, and the lives of those around us, will be richer for it. Yes, becoming, sustaining, and maintaining minimalism in America is hard, but we, as a people, are no strangers to hard work. 



Even more profound is our cultural thirst for possibility. The minimalist journey is intimately personal but some threads connect us all and the possibility inherent in living a minimalist existence is one of them.



For us, becoming minimalist is about freeing ourselves every day, through action or inaction, to become the best versions of ourselves, capable of living in the direction of our wildest dreams with excited anticipation. 



Whether that is to live as nomads and wander the globe, or to grow where we are planted, to act or not to act, that is the question…



***



Colleen Mariotti is the founder of of <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://livology.com/" target="_blank">Livology</a>. A nomad, writer, and minimalist at heart, you can find her guided journal Ebook, <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://livology.com/?product=livology-ebook-volume-1" target="_blank">Livology: A Global Guide to a Deliberate Life here</a>.
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Minimalism in America is Hard. Here’s How to Do It.

Note: This is a guest post from Jay Harrington of&nbsp;<a href="http://www.lifeandwhim.com/">Life and Whim.</a>



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My pursuit of a more minimalist lifestyle was, for many years, a case study in cognitive dissonance.



On the one hand, a burning ambition to create, build and succeed, in the traditional sense of the word.



On the other, an intense desire for a simpler, less complicated life—a minimalist life.



It always felt like I had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, advocating for two distinct approaches that were in irreconcilable conflict.



A big part of my struggle stemmed from (what turned out to be) an unfounded fear—a belief that minimalism is a bastion of the unambitious. I had big things I wanted to achieve, so I resisted adopting the identity of someone who would settle for less.



Here’s how I saw it: Either push the pedal or hit the brakes.



I finally became so sick and tired of my mental machinations and scarcity thinking that I committed to finding the antidote to fear, which is knowledge. By studying minimalist philosophies, I came to understand that my seemingly contradictory impulses could coexist. I clearly remember stumbling upon Joshua Becker’s <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/what-is-minimalism/">insight</a> that, “At its core, being a minimalist means intentionally promoting the things we most value and removing everything that distracts us from it.”



A revelation and reconciliation: It became clear that a minimalist mindset doesn’t stand in the way of ambition. It’s what enables the pursuit of big dreams. I realized that owning less could free me to achieve more. (<a href="https://ctt.ac/Sb39v">tweet that</a>)



Step Back, Move Forward



I began to see the world through a new lens and tossed aside old assumptions and conventional wisdom. I had a lot to unwind. I took a deep breath and got to work.



I left the law firm I founded. I ditched the office space for the marketing agency my wife and I own, untethered our employees, and started operating our business “virtually” from coffee shops and our kitchen table.



We sold our house. We moved from an expensive suburb to a small town in northern Michigan with our three young girls. We took steps back in order to create space and time so that we could make a clear-eyed decision about the path we would follow once we were ready to move forward again. We created white space for the first time in a long time.



Like Thoreau, we “went to the woods” to live more deliberately.



Fast forward five years later, and I am busier than ever between the responsibilities of work and family. And also happier than ever.



The big difference is that I’m busy on my own terms, in a place of my choosing. My ambition is undiminished—but it’s not consuming me. I’m focused on what matters to me, not all the trappings of “success” that merely get in the way of a meaningful life.



Lessons Learned



The most significant lesson I learned from my experience is that the real power of minimalism is practical and pragmatic: A minimalist mindset, which is one that provides clarity of purpose, helps create the space and time necessary to pursue meaningful work, relationships and experiences. 



Minimalism has been a mental model that has helped me become more effective at prioritizing time, focusing attention, and drilling down on life’s essentials.



At its core, minimalism is a powerful means to an important end. Without an end in mind, practicing minimalism can feel like a rote exercise devoid of any larger purpose. 



But if you’re using the principles of minimalism to move toward something you love, then all of the stripping away, like a sculptor chipping away at a hunk of marble, becomes a joyful exercise that reveals something beautiful inside.



In this season of my life, one of my primary “ends” is building a thriving business. And the stripping away of excesses across all areas of my life is helping me to pursue it.



Before, my work was done with the aim of supporting a lifestyle meant to send signals of success to other people. Today, free of so many burdensome obligations, I’m able to do work that aligns with my desire to do work that serves a larger purpose.



No less ambition. Far more satisfaction.



I can confidently declare that a less-is-more approach not only doesn’t stand in the way of achievement (no matter how you define it), it’s what fuels it. Here are a few key takeaways from my experience. 1. Don’t think of minimalism as merely a tool for subtraction. 



When you remove things that don’t matter from your life, it creates a vacuum. Use your newfound time and energy as the fuel to add more meaning to your life. You may decide to write a book, start a business, volunteer, or rekindle relationships. 



If you decide to pursue a new passion project, you may find yourself busier, but also <a href="https://www.lifeandwhim.com/first-moments-blog/the-discomfort-of-happiness">happier</a> and more fulfilled, than you’ve ever been. Minimalism can be a means to a quieter, more leisurely life—but it doesn’t have to be. 2. Money is not the only currency. 



It was during our quest to simplify that we came to learn that money is not the only currency, nor even the most valuable one. For us, time and mobility became higher priorities. 



We make less money than we used to, but have learned that we need far less to sustain us. That realization has been incredibly liberating, and has emboldened us to try things we never would have imagined a few short years ago.



3. The decision to minimize or not minimize is not a binary one. 



To realize the benefits of minimalism, you don’t need to live in a tiny house, wear the same outfit every day, and possess few belongings. Creating the tiniest crack of white space in your life by ridding yourself of something superfluous is still a win. 



No one who visits our house would tag us as minimalists. But that’s the beauty of minimalism—you don’t need permission from anyone else to create a more meaningful life for yourself. And how you go about building that life is entirely up to you. I would humbly suggest, however, that a pragmatic approach to minimalist living can be a powerful force in fostering the change you seek.



***



Jay Harrington is a “reformed lawyer” turned author and entrepreneur, and blogs at&nbsp;<a href="http://www.lifeandwhim.com/">Life and Whim</a>&nbsp;where he helps people find purpose and live big through small moments. You can also find him on&nbsp;<a href="https://www.facebook.com/LifeAndWhim/">Facebook</a>.
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Ambitious Minimalism: How Owning Less Frees Us to Achieve More

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from <a href="https://www.hannahbrenchercreative.com/about">Hannah Brencher</a>, founder of <a href="http://www.moreloveletters.com">More Love Letters</a>. 



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The start of a new year overwhelms me.



I love the idea of shifting gears and walking into a new year. I love the possibility of a fresh calendar. But I am overwhelmed by all the things I want to do, and all the things I think I can magically begin, just because January 1 arrives at the front of the calendar.



I’m one of those people who believes I can start running, eat all the kale, magically organize my entire life, and become that friend who sends birthday cards in the mail overnight. 



I guess you could say I am a recovering resolutions addict.



The new year is tricky because we formulate these big, life-shifting goals and then we wonder why nothing changes. Why we quickly shelf those goals and go back to old habits. 



I’ve learned it’s because building discipline takes time. It is a muscle we need to train little by little. Progress is usually made out of small things done on repeat.



At the start of 2019, I was feeling worn out before the new year even arrived on the calendar. I had things I wanted to do but I was drained by the idea of setting another set of lofty resolutions that looked like failures by the middle of January.



So I refocused my thinking. I decided to zoom in small. I picked one primary goal:



Read more, scroll less.



Instead of assuming I had to go out to the bookstore to fill my shelves with new reads that might entice me to create this new habit of mine, I decided to start with what I had. I pulled a book off the shelf and I set a timer on my phone for 15 minutes. Just 15 minutes to read a few pages of a book I already had.



A few years removed from that “read more, scroll less” goal, this is how most of my life operates: in 15-minute increments.



I call it the “15-minute rule.” It’s no fuss. It’s not fancy. You just set the timer and you start.



Fifteen minutes to go for a walk outside. Fifteen minutes to clear your mind and journal. Fifteen minutes to write some good sentences or call a friend just to hear their voice and check-in.



Most of us have 15 minutes. We say we don’t, but we could find the space. 



We could put down the phone. We could watch less of that show. We could wake up a few minutes earlier. I think we buy the lie that we need to have the whole day or a whole hour to invest in something we care about that would make us feel like we are moving forward. But I’m afraid we’ll keep waiting on that miraculous free 3-hour time block or that day off only to find it never shows up.



We’ll never find the time. We have to make it and we have to decide that even the smallest actions are going to matter, they’re going to stack up and contribute to much bigger victories ahead.



On days where I feel overwhelmed by the tasks ahead of me, I set a timer and get to it. I remind myself: you can do anything for 15 minutes.



The tasks range from big to small: 



Clean the cupboard beneath the bathroom sink. Go through my inbox. Call and make that doctor’s appointment. Scribble out a few cards and put them in the mailbox. With just 15 minutes, I make progress in a direction that matters to me. I change the landscape around me and get closer to the goals that really matter to me.



It’s really all about looking for that tiny thread within a larger task and beginning to pull. Over the years, I’ve found it doesn’t just work for the tasks you are dreading or tasks that need to get done, but it works even more masterfully for things you’ve always said you wanted to do. Those things you’ve quickly pushed to the side with the excuse of, “I just don’t have enough time.”



I’ve wanted to write a novel for years. This idea sat in my brain for so long and haunted me with each passing day. I’m a believer in not letting inspiration and ideas sit dormant for too long so I pulled out a notebook I already had one day and I set my timer. Over the next 15 minutes, I began to do research for the novel. It wasn’t earth-shattering. I was simply using 15 minutes of time to watch a TED talk and scan through some articles. But there was something about carving out that time that lit a fire in me.



It was a small step in the right direction. I was surprised to see it felt like coming back to myself. I decided I was going to keep stoking the fire, fifteen minutes at a time. The number of minutes seems small, but any larger and I’d convince myself there just wasn’t enough time.



It doesn’t need to happen every single day. It’s not about getting the 15-minutes down perfectly. It’s about deciding to show up and put something that matters at the forefront for just a moment in your day.



It might take 15 minutes to write 250 words. That’s 250 more words than you had yesterday.



It might take 15 minutes to research some new recipes but that’s an arsenal of family meals that didn’t exist this morning.



It might take 15 minutes to start cleaning out the closet in your office. You might not finish that big task today but you’re a little bit closer than you where you were before you set the timer.



If you’re feeling like life has been knocked out of you, or you don’t know how to start this new year, it may be time to look around the readjust.



You don’t need to add more to your already full life. You don’t need to make big investments or buy fancy gadgets to make progress. You just need to clear the space, maybe just for 15 minutes. You just need to start right where you are with what you already have.



***



Hannah Brencher is a blogger, TED speaker and entrepreneur. Her book, <a href="https://amzn.to/39WjqQz">Fighting Forward: Your Nitty-Gritty Guide to Beating the Lies that Hold You Back</a> is available now.
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The 15-Minute Rule

Editor&#8217;s Note: This is a guest post from Mark Batterson of the National Community Church in Washington, D.C.



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Eat the frog!



No, I’m not advocating a new diet. 



“If it’s your job to eat a frog,” Mark Twain is purported to have said, “it’s best to do it first thing in the morning.” Why? Because you can go through the rest of your day knowing that the hardest task is behind you.



What to-do list items are hardest for you to check off? What difficult decisions are you delaying? What goals have you had forever, but you have yet to take the first step? That, my friend, is your frog!



Destiny is not a mystery. Destiny is a decision. 



According to one estimate, we make as many as 35,000 decisions every day. The question is: how do we make good ones? 



The answer is making decisions before you have to make the decision! They’re called predecisions, and they help you maximize the power of twenty-four hours.



Twyla Tharp is one of the most accomplished choreographers of the modern era. Her credits include 129 dance compositions, 12 television specials, six Hollywood films, and four Broadway shows. She has won two Emmys, one Tony, and the prestigious Kennedy Center Honor. Did I mention her 19 honorary doctorates?



How has she produced such an impressive LinkedIn profile? You guessed it—she eats the frog every day! 



“I begin each day of my life with a ritual,” said Twyla. “The quasi-religious power I attach to this ritual keeps me from rolling over and going back to sleep.” 



What is her ritual? After waking up at five thirty, she puts on her workout clothes, walks out of her Manhattan home, and hails a cab to take her to the Pumping Iron Gym at Ninety-First Street and First Avenue. “The ritual is not the stretching and weight training I put my body through each morning at the gym,” said Twyla. “The ritual is the cab.”



Does Twyla enjoy her two-hour workout every day? Not any more than you do! There are days when she doesn’t feel like going to the gym, but she doesn’t give herself an out. That is the genius of predecisions. They eliminate the option of opting out.



You can’t wait until your alarm goes off to decide whether or not to work out. We all know how that story ends—with the snooze button! The decision has to be made beforehand, with a predecision. Then that predecision has to be put into deliberate practice with a well-designed ritual.



Ritualization gets a bit of a bad rap in some circles, and there can definitely be a downside to the things we do repeatedly. It’s easy to learn how and forget why. That’s when we start going through the motions. 



The key to sustained growth in any area of our lives is routine, but once the routine becomes routine, you have to reinvent the routine. It’s called the <a href="https://www.edge.org/response-detail/27150">law of requisite variety</a>. If you don’t disrupt the status quo, the law of diminishing returns kicks in. 



While recognizing the downside, we should also acknowledge the upside to automating our actions through ritualization.



The blue jeans, black turtleneck, and New Balance shoes worn by Steve Jobs every day are exhibit A. Was Steve Jobs trying to make a fashion statement?  I think not. 



So, <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/capsule-wardrobe/">why did he wear the same outfit every day</a>? It was one less decision he had to make. It was one less thing he had to worry about.  



That’s what daily rituals are all about. Along with maximizing our God-given potential, they also streamline our lives by saving time and energy.  I’m not advocating the same outfit every day per se. But reducing the number of decisions we make every day buys back bandwidth for the big decisions.



What frog do you need to eat?



It might be doing your age in sit-ups before you shower, or five minutes of meditation before breakfast. Whatever it is, make it a daily routine by picking a time and a place. If possible, stack the habit with your regular routine. Learn to leverage your shower, your breakfast, or your commute.



Most goals are important, but they aren’t urgent. Eating the frog is making time for the important things over and above the urgent things. 



Whatever it is, you’ve got to figure out a morning routine that works for you. And I might add, one that works for your spouse and your kids and your dog and your boss! You don’t have to shirk your responsibilities to eat the frog. All you have to do is plan your work, then work your plan.  



The good news? Well-begun is half-done!



***



Mark Batterson is the New York Times best-selling author of 20 books including “<a href="https://amzn.to/3oKhNvf">Win the Day: 7 Daily Habits to Help You Stress Less &amp; Accomplish More</a>” and the lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C. Visit him at <a href="http://MarkBatterson.com">MarkBatterson.com</a>. 
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